


Bachelor Party

by StopLookingHere



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Fluff, Party, Sharing a Bed, this is borderline smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-02
Updated: 2015-07-02
Packaged: 2018-04-07 08:04:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4255740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StopLookingHere/pseuds/StopLookingHere
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Armin has a bachelor party thrown for him, and Levi invites Hange as the surprise stripper. Needless to say, it doesn't end well. Based off an AU by "LukeNewBerry" on Tumblr.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bachelor Party

**Author's Note:**

> LukeNewBerry on Tumblr had a post called “some more aus” that I pulled this from. One AU was, ““you hired me to be the surprise stripper for your friend at this bachelor/bachelorette party and they did not take it well and threw both of us out in the freezing cold this is all your fault”
> 
> So, here’s some LeviHan. I should also mention that I always think of Hange as female -> so that’s what she is in this.

 

            While Armin hadn’t ever really thought he’d get married, he certainly didn’t expect to have a bachelor party thrown for him. Hell, he hadn’t even expected to survive long enough to get married. He definitely hadn’t expected to get married to the pretty blonde whose veil he’d lift tomorrow.

            Levi had the idea of throwing Armin the party, even though he was the most adult one around. His excuse was, “You’re still living now, and you might as well have another experience to live through.” It had probably made more sense at the time, but Armin had tentatively agreed to give Levi his home for the night to decorate and stock.

            Every male who was still alive from the 104th, including the military police and garrison, were invited, making a rather crowded party. Connie was cracking jokes to several people, the now weary Shadis told stories of old, happy times, and Jean sat in one corner with some drink in his hand, reminiscing about the boy he’d wanted to marry. Levi was not an excitable party thrower, and as soon as the party had warmed up, he stepped down and disappeared presumably to make a cup of tea. However, Levi did have more planned for Armin than just congratulations and talk, and was definitely not making a cup of tea.

            “I swear, this isn’t going to end okay,” the usually positive Hange groaned. “I’m freezing my ass off, why are you making me do this?”

            “Because Yeager would probably try to kill me if I put Ackerman up there, and I think putting poor Braus up there would kill Springer,” Levi reasoned. “This also might erase their thoughts that we’re together.”

            “Why do you insist on hiding?” Hange asked. “It’s pretty obvious.”

            Levi only shook his head, pulling her into the warm house from the back door. “Wait here for now, okay? When I say there’s a special surprise, it’s your time to shine.”

            Hange shook her head. It was not a shining moment. Why did she even _think_ of agreeing to this?

            When Levi’s cue came, she took a deep breath and prayed everyone would be too drunk to remember this. The living room had been dimmed, and everyone’s head turned to see her when she entered. Armin looked shocked, Eren turned a shade of beetroot, and she was pretty sure Shadis moving his legs was not just to shift to a more comfortable position. The center of the room had been cleared, and she took to here, standing slightly awkwardly.

            It wasn’t that Hange had shown up to a bachelor party—she’d actually been invited, with Armin considering her fluidity about her gender. It was that she’d shown up in a rather short leather miniskirt, a bra that didn’t leave much to the imagination, thigh-high stockings that made her seem even taller, and a pair of shiny black heels. Her hair was down, her lashes were dark and, for the time being, her scars had been made to disappear from the magic of cosmetics.

            “What the hell, Levi?” Armin suddenly asked, standing up and slamming his hands on the worn wooden table. “What in the hell?”

            Hange blinked, adjusting her feet so the heels were more comfortable.

            “What, you don’t like her?” Levi asked, smirking. “I thought every man should be treated to a show before his wedding, and-“

            “Not when she’s your friggin’ squad leader!” Armin shouted, shaking. “Get out! Both of you. Get out of here!”

            “Come on, be reasonable, I’ll go put something on…” Hange threw her hands up in her defense, but Armin was _mad_.

            “Heichou, I’d think you’d have a bit more respect for your girlfriend!” A couple chortles arose from the crowd of people watching, and Levi winced at that statement. “Can’t be much more obvious than that!”

            Hange and Levi were rushed out of the house, to the back door where the cold air was much less inviting than it had been before. Armin gave Levi a disgusted look before wrenching the door open and pushing the two out onto the fresh snow, before slamming the door and taking all of its warmth with him.

            “I told-“ before Hange could finish her sentence, Levi interrupted with a “no.”

            “I told you so!” She laughed, undoing the straps of her heels before standing up. “Ah, much better. A bit cold, though.”

            “Shut up, shitty-glasses,” Levi groaned. “I left my jacket inside there. Do you think he’ll let me get it?”

            “Hell no.”

            This only emitted a louder groan from Levi, who stood up in the snow. His height in comparison to Hange’s was a tad ridiculous, but he still somehow managed to sweep her off her feet and into his arms, bridal-style. The girl in his arms gave a giddy laugh and nestled her head closely into the crook of his neck, leaving butterfly kisses there.

            “We’re in public.” Levi reasoned.

            “But how odd is it that you’re carrying home a scantily clad woman? My hair is down, my glasses are off, and you’re one to keep up impressions, yes? If we’re lucky, nobody in that room will remember our little stunt tomorrow,” Hange only laughed more, wrapping her arms around his neck for support.

            “Yes, but when have we been lucky?” Levi asked, reaching their front door and unlocking it swiftly. He gently laid her on the couch before leaving to rifle through his drawers for her clothing.

            When he came back with oversized scouting clothes, Hange groaned. “How about you just utilize this outfit for tonight and call it drunkenness tomorrow?”

            Levi blushed. “I might need something to drink for that.”

            “What, I’m not sexy enough for you?” Hange joked, waggling her eyebrows and running her hand suggestively across her body. “That’s a disappointment.”

            “No, that’s not it,” Levi shook his head. “Not at all.”

            “Then come over here and love me sober,” she beckoned. “And, remember: this is all your fault.”

            “I know,” he said, not hesitating to immediately embrace her. “And I don’t regret it.”

 


End file.
